I never really understood that statement. Why is the Devil in the details? That statement doesn’t seem accurate, since I’m pretty sure Hillary Clinton isn’t working on my Saab… Dumb jokes aside, since picking up my ’11 Aero, there have been a few minor things that needed attention. Getting those little things addressed means the difference between a nice car and one that “needs attention”…
Inside, the buttons on the infotainment and/or HVAC systems often peel away from years of use. Rumor has it that hand lotions, etc accelerate that peeling away process. Checking around, it looks like the buttons cannot be purchased separately. They are only available by ordering the whole center console panel. And those panels differ by option. Base models don’t have heated seats, so they get their own panel. Cars with heated seats get another version, and cars with both heated & ventilated seats get yet another… guess I shouldn’t be surprised Saab went out of business should I? Instead of adding or subtracting a $0.50 button, they had 3 different versions of a $300 panel…
Looking around the internet, I stumbled across some naked women a guy who offers decals for the worn buttons. At first, I had my doubts… I mean, decals? But those who bought them swore by them (not at them)! I reached out and found out he didn’t offer an NG 9-5 version, but did offer them for the 9-4X?!? So I decided to give it a try. My lovely wife Tamara gave me a hand, since I’m about as steady as an alcoholic in withdrawals. We cleaned up the button faces with rubbing alcohol and carefully applied the decals. I’ve got to be honest, it looks pretty good! And much better than worn off buttons…
Next up was what my brother Jake and I routinely refer to as “Stage 0 weight reduction”. The racing scene is big on reducing weight, but I’m not a fan of pulling out huge pieces of my car. But a crappy dealer badge and lame-o license plate frame? Good riddance! I took a piece of dental floss and carefully worked it behind the badge, cutting through the adhesive, until the badge fell off. A little bit of 3M adhesive remover and the residue was gone too. Next up with the plate frame. Sounds simple, right? It was. I unbolted it and unceremoniously tossed the frame and badge into the trash where it belonged.
With the license plate off, I could see that the plate mounting brackets both front and rear were looking pretty rough. The galvanized portion was corroded, and the threaded portions were rusty. Since I’m not interested in rust running onto my license plate, or worse yet, my paint; I decided to order up new mounting brackets. Thankfully they are still available. To make sure the new ones would hold up, I coated them in a zinc-rich primer and then after that dried, coated them with an industrial grade paint. There will be no rust on my watch!
While going to remount the plate, I noticed the screws the dealer used were way too long, and actually pushed into the paint?!? Is there anything those guys didn’t screw up? So I jumped online again and found some much shorter button head M6 screws. Made of stainless steel, of course. And these don’t dig into the paint! What a novel idea…
Next up was a coolant hose. Despite the dealer’s “964-point inspection”, my car’s turbocharger coolant return hose was touching the turbo heat shield upon delivery. And while the hoses come with a foil heat shield of their own, it’s not rocket science to see that the heat will eventually damage the hose if it’s in direct contact with the shield. So I ordered up new hoses. And the hard piped portion was all rusted up too, so I ordered a new one of those as well. So I unbolted the old pipe and bolted up the new one (it comes with a new pipe-to-turbo bolt too), along with the new rubber hoses. I topped up the coolant and added a bottle of Royal Purple’s “Purple Ice”. No, this isn’t P Diddy’s newest cocktail beverage… it helps release surface tension in your coolant, allowing it to pull heat from the combustion chambers much more effectively. Given how octane sensitive these engines are, every little bit helps. I checked to make sure the new hoses were NOT touching the turbo shield, and called it good.
So, not bad for a couple hours of work. Unlike Hillary’s emails, I was able to make most of my problems go away without having to murder anyone. But given how notoriously hard these cars are to work on, I’m not ruling it out! After all, I can just say the Devil made me do it!
What On Earth Is An NG 9-5? 